How can we encourage women and young girls to support each other without aggression?
In the music and artist community, women experience this as part of their initiation into the field. Many women in the field use bullying tactics as a way to get ahead in the industry. While these tactics are welcome by men in the business, it leaves many women alienated, isolated and scarred. It creates a callousness that interferes with the building of community among women musicians and artists.
Almost every woman I know in the industry has experienced a level of bullying. Many of these women are seen as trying to advance themselves, doing “what girls do” or doing whatever it takes to get ahead. Today, we need to open the dialogue in our own communities and take a closer look at what we are doing to each other. Creating a community means embracing each other’s talents and helping each other along the way.
I recently had the privilege of reading Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons. This bestselling parenting book takes a closer look at how girls interact with one another and how parents can encourage girls to socialize without using subtle and indirect methods of aggression. In chapter two of Simmons book titled “intimate enemies,” she explores the topic of emotional abuse in friendships. She talks about relational aggression, which can include indirect aggression and social aggression.
I personally have known many women in the music community who have endured what Simmons coins as “destroying you from the inside”. As we move forward, we have to change the fabric of the social environment for women in music. We cannot afford to destroy each other’s self-worth just because we want to get ahead. As sisters in music, we have to come together as we are stronger in numbers. Tearing each other down to further our own personal agendas should become a tactic of the past as we move forward to increase women’s pay, increase women leaders, and increase sisterhood in our communities.
By: Victoria Boyington
You can read more about Odd Girl Out
