Over the past few years I’ve had the opportunity to do a handful of interviews (thanks to SoundGirls) and some talkbacks (thanks to Outsiders). After a while I noticed that eventually someone always asks a version of “what’s one piece of advice you would give?” My response to that usually ended up being: Go bother people. Go find someone who’s doing something you want to do (or something even remotely connected) and ask them how they got there. Ask them what they learned and what they would share with someone just starting out.
Personally, I love when people come up to the console during intermission or after a show to ask questions and share that they might be interested in pursuing theatre as a career. I have a stack of business cards at FOH just waiting for someone to walk up and start a conversation.
However, I also know that walking up to a strange to start a conversation is not an easy thing to do. I was the quiet kid in college who was more likely to sit back and absorb what was happening than put myself out there and ask questions. I was always worried about sounding dumb or appearing pushy or annoying. But now that I’m on the other side of those interactions, I wish I’d spoken up and reached out more. The truth is that almost everyone is happy to talk and answer questions. We’re all potential mentors just waiting to have an audience for our stories.
So, when you find someone doing what you want to do, go talk to them. If it’s at a show, find a moment before the show starts or at intermission to say hi, let them know that you’re interested in what they’re doing, and ask if you can come back at intermission or after the show to chat. Bonus points if you can find their job in the playbill and know their name! If I know someone’s going to come back to say hi, I’ll actually stick around at intermission, otherwise I book it backstage as quickly as I can to avoid everyone charging to the bathrooms or standing in the bar line.
Then, when you get to talk to them, think of a specific question or two to ask. I couldn’t care less if it’s “how long have you been doing this?” or “how do you like working on this show?” Even what seems like a simple question can spark a larger conversation. (Pro tip: if you’re a little shy and your parents are with you, bring them along as a buffer. They are great at asking questions, especially when they’re talking to someone about their kids’ potential future career.)
What it comes down to is that I want to talk to you and share what I do, but I want it to be things that you’re actually interested in. Just like you, most of us aren’t great at talking to people we’ve never met, so if you can give us even a nudge in the right direction it can help immensely.
Before you leave, ask if you can email them or reach out to them on social media. Some people just don’t think about it in the moment, but will be happy to say yes if you bring it up. I know of several people who keep business cards at FOH for that very reason.
If you forget, see if you can look them up somehow. I’ve had people message me on my LinkedIn profile or email SoundGirls asking them to forward an email so I can get in touch with them.
Once you have their contact info the most important step is to actually follow up and send the email. It wasn’t a first date, you don’t have to wait the proverbial three days so you don’t seem desperate. You want to show that you’re interested. I would guess the number of people who’ve followed up with me is a slim 10% or less.
Just like the initial questions, this doesn’t have to be eloquent or complicated. A simple “Thanks for giving me your card, would you mind if I reach out in the future with any questions?” is a perfectly fine intro. I think far too many people get too into their heads about needing to make a grand gesture when all you need is the electronic version of reaching out for a handshake.
Don’t get discouraged if the response isn’t immediate. There are plenty of times I’ve read an email, marked it to respond later, then got distracted with any number of things. Or it accidentally got filtered into Spam.
Since I still vividly remember what it’s like being the kid that didn’t want to cause a fuss I’ll make a point to tell people to give me a nudge if they don’t hear from me in a week. It’s not rude or pushy to do that follow up, often times we just get sidetracked and forget that we haven’t actually responded.
In general, I would say three is the magic number for trying to establish contact initially. If you reach out that many times over the course of a couple weeks and don’t hear anything back, likely they don’t have the time to respond. If you’ve already been talking, you have some more leeway since there’s an established relationship.
Once you have reached out and they’ve responded, continue to ask specific questions, even if it feels simplistic or like you’re just making up something to reach out to them. Like I said before, specific questions are easier to answer and once you start a conversation, the responses you get will bring up other questions and make it easy to continue chatting.
This is something that applies not only to meeting new people, but for reaching out to the ones you know. When you’re starting out in your career don’t be afraid to reach out and ask people for advice or see if you can shadow on projects they’re working on or let them know you’d like to work with them if there’s ever an opportunity.
Quite honestly, these are things you should do no matter where you are in your career. You can’t expect other people to read your mind, so learning to advocate for yourself and ask for opportunities early in your career will help you down the road. If you get nervous about reaching out to someone, just remember that we’re all people.
Imagine someone a few years younger than yourself coming to ask for help. Would you be happy to lend a hand and give them advice? The answer is usually yes, and the same applies in the other direction when you’re the ones asking for help.
So this is your sign to take a moment today and think of someone you’ve wanted to learn from. Then go reach out and ask them for help. Chances are you’ll be pleasantly surprised.