I’m tense but in a strangely positive way. I can feel my muscles contract until they ache. So much of my body is already hurt, I don’t even notice the extra pressure. The kind of hurt that comes from being ill for a month and the violent cough caused me to pop and bruise my ribs. Even though the pain is excruciating and the painkillers I got from the hospital do the trick, the added pressure is something different. I have a project happening that is so intoxicating. Let me just give you the background first.
In the summer I was not well, mentally I was not able to cope on my own. Being a bit of a proud character, I struggle to ask for help. Work, friends, directions, I have no problem asking for help, but when it comes to me, I am too proud and probably insecure. Being a woman in a male-dominated industry only enforces this idea of not needing help.
“I can do it as well as my colleagues! I shouldn’t need to prove myself!”
So recently when my best friend told me that I need to stop being in pain and call an ambulance I just gave in and did it. Since the summer I’ve learned to accept help when it’s offered and trust my instincts. This brings me to today’s good news. In the summer I manifested a dream I’ve had since my teens of being on the radio, I created my podcast @anditwentlikethispodcast. Now I’ve actualised another goal I set out in the summer when it all seemed so bleak and I thought I should re-educate myself to a dog therapist. I wanted to produce radio and podcasts. I started working with brilliant women’s network Her Hustle last year and now we are making a podcast together for a client. You guessed it, I am recording, editing, and producing it!
Not only is this the first substantial project and income I will have had in almost a year, but it is also a huge goal. I want to celebrate and scream about it! So here I am, writing this post bragging because I am proud of myself. So proud!
“Hm… maybe there are good sides to pride after all…”
Finally, my thoughts go out to you and what you are wrestling with right now. It will get better, I believe it so hard that hopefully, you can feel it too. I want to advocate for the power of manifestations and defining your goals. I never truly believed in it, but I did take steps that were in my power, to create my first stride towards it. That is the force of manifesting and empowering yourself. So slow down and make it your time. Set your own manifestations, tell others about your goals, and figure out what you can do tomorrow. Celebrate your little victories and have the courage to be proud.