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Do I Still Know How To Do My Job?

My last mixing FOH for a real audience was January 8, 2020. For some reason I feel a necessity to write down a year as well, being afraid that if this stand-still stays longer than we all hope I’ll still be able to track down to my last real show. I only wish we won’t get in the scenario of those memes where there’s a senior person being led by a young kid saying “my 2020 gigs were rescheduled again” and the youngster answers “let it go granny, it’s 2063 already”.

So, it’s over a year at this point without being surrounded by live music, audience cheers, and the feeling of those butterflies in a stomach two minutes before a show starts. I had rehearsals with my supposed-to-be cast on a cruise ship through mid-February to mid-March, so I feel like I was still in the right vibe. And after that –  that’s it.

The slow sway of a vaccination process gives some positive thoughts that we’re moving in the right direction and one day to be able to get back to our jobs, Here comes the scariest part. Do I still know how to do my job?

I was talking with other artists and randomly we started talking about skill loss when not practicing. An artist that I genuinely admire, shared his experience that after not painting for a year it was very frustrating to take a brush in a hand again, and then it took time to get back the same technique. A scriptwriter told me that not writing a script for some time has become a struggle to get those creative juices going again. Then I thought about myself, as an ex-drummer. When our high school band split up and I stopped drumming for good. A couple of years later I got a job as a backline tech and one day I got asked to do a drum soundcheck. Kick – fine. Snare- fine. You know how it goes. And then a guy running FOH who knew about my drummer career asked me to play something. I froze, couldn’t keep a steady 4/4 beat. So, at this point, I already know how it feels to try doing something that you knew well some time ago, but suddenly it feels so unknown. –

Let’s point out that I’m not only talking about mixing. Mixing is easy, I see live sound engineering as a complex set of skills. A lot of us, live sound engineers, didn’t have a necessity to be sharp for over a year, no 5-minute changeovers, no crew management, no immediate problem solving on the fly, no 300ft power cable ran backward, you name it. All of these skills didn’t come overnight. It took years and years going through fire and ice just not to freak out and learn how to calmly make the right decisions. Thinking about that honestly makes me worry, do I still know how to behave? Or is it just like riding a bike? Am I the only one in the industry concerned? Or will it be a slow start for everybody when live shows will get back? Is there a way to do a self-check? Or it is not necessary, because everything we knew comes back naturally once we start doing what we’ve been doing?

Can’t tell how much I appreciate those virtual product presentations, free training, and Q&A sessions. I haven’t watched that many educational videos ever in my life. But does that keep us, live sound engineers acute and prepared for the live environment? Can’t wait the day to come to find out!

Dovile Bindokaite is currently based and working as a freelance sound engineer in Lithuania. She has an MA degree in sound engineering and started working in sound in 2012. Since 2014, she has worked in various positions in live sound including FOH, monitor engineer, sound engineer for broadcasting, RF coordinator, backline tech, stage tech, stage manager. For the past year, she was part of an audio team at Schubert Systems Group (USA). She has experience working in theatre as a sound designer and recording studios as a recording engineer.

 

Pandemic Fatigue 

 

 

With 12 million event industry professionals out of work, everyone is pivoting as fast and as much as they can. With COVID, plus the election, searching for work, physical distancing, zoom call upon zoom call and so much more this has created a new kind of fatigue. Pandemic fatigue.

Many of us are used to extremely long hours, physical labor, and having to adapt on the fly, which means many of us don’t know how to stop, slow down, or how to wait it out; especially having to do it for 6 months plus straight.  Some days I feel more tired than I ever did on a 5-day show run. Self-care in times like these are extremely important.  I know I’ve written about self-care before, however, as 2020 drags on self-care continues to look different for everyone and becomes even more important.

Maintain a routine if you can build a new one if you need to.  I had to build a new routine, otherwise, I found myself not getting dressed and watching way too much tv. A few of the things I have added to my routine are volunteering, cooking/baking, reading for fun, and hanging with my nephews more. Other things you could add are journaling, a new exercise routine, DIY home improvements, or exploring your city.  Build a routine to avoid depression and anxiety. At the same time, it’s ok to give yourself a break and let yourself off the hook; there is a lot going on.

This new routine is about finding a new balance. We are on an informational and emotional roller-coaster. Take a mental break from the news and social media – re-read your favorite childhood book series or start a new one. Explore that park you always drove by, but never stopped at.  Find folks to socialize with who understands what you are going through. Find people who understand you may be emotional. That you might need to adjust the days’ plan due to how you’re feeling or an opportunity you need to follow up on. People who will support you in any way you need. A support system or network in these times are very important and so are the people you lean on when you need to. Find a balance in your routine that provides motivation, but allows you to adjust if things just don’t feel right. Develop your support network too.

Also, if you’re like me you’re on a new and very tight budget.  I had to redo my budget to cut out any ‘frivolous spending’ aka anything extra and fun. Maintaining my living expenses have become a huge concern and point of stress. I probably went a little overboard, cutting anything not needed right away which took a lot of fun activities off the table early. Now that I have rebalanced my budget ensuring I can make ends meet I find I desire to put some of the fun items back in all the while thinking I have to make sure I’m filling my rainy-day account because who knows what unexpected expense could pop up. Luckily my support network reminded me it’s ok to treat myself once in a while too. It is ok to buy that one dinner out or get that new piece of gear.  Try that new food truck that opened down the block. Buy the new shoes you’ve been needing but avoiding.  Yes, the budget is tight but again self-care is important. Find a balance that can be maintained and develop your routine around it.

Develop a routine that includes self-care and a support network. We’ll need to continue to prepare for the long run as we all know our industry will not open up overnight. This is going to take time, patience, and a lot of support.  Find joy where you can, stave off the fatigue, anger, and fear as needed. Rely on your network and your routine to make it through this because we will make it through and we will be stronger as individuals and a stronger industry once we get to do what we love again.

Also, a little PSA

Don’t forget to look for and utilize your local resources for help, many counties and states have assistance programs in place – food shelves, health insurance help, budgeting assistance, or even resume creating and job finding support. Use these systems, they exist for this specific reason and there is no shame in using them to make it through.  These resources can help relaxed financial or job worries and help bring peace of mind during these times.

And take care of your mental health.

 

 

Speak Out – Reach Out

2020 still has no end in sight. There’re glimmers of hope that normality might come back here or there as we see imagines for physically distanced events and people being allowed to gather in crowds, however, we know the live events landscape has been forever changed.

During these hard times, we first need to make sure we reach out to each other for support and second speak out so people outside of our industry might understand the life-changing issues we are facing.

Reach out to each other, your family and road family, friends and neighbors. Find
support, a place to talk through your struggles and successes. 2020 has been quite the roller-coaster with many things out of our hands. If you reach a point where you cannot deal with it anymore reach out. It’s extremely important to support one another.

With no end in sight, our day-to-day lives can be daunting and hard. If you find you are struggling ask for help. If you do not have people you can confide in here are two options for online therapy Talkspace and Therapy Conductor.

If you are feeling really low and not sure where to go or what to do please reach out via a
suicide hotline. Here are the US line and an International directory as well.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

International Suicide Hotline

Another option is to check with your location state or country resources as well. Most states have set up reduced or free therapy options for people affected by everything occurring.

Look into educational programs to pivot your career for the time being, along with food and financial support. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help so if you need help, please do so.

If you have the energy or are able it’s important to tell our story; how everything going on has upended our lives, careers, and finances.

Speak out – Stand up and speak out. Tell your story, tell our story. It’s more important today than ever. We need to speak up for our industry and craft. The effects that 2020 has had on our lively hoods, dreams, and goals are astounding. This can be done in many ways, protests, individual conversations, petition signing, data collection and more.

Whatever energy you can muster, speak your story to help educate whomever we can about the long-lasting struggles in our industry that are affecting our personal lives. As many of us and our counterparts have said we were the first to be unemployed and will likely be the last to be employed again. Supporting one another needs to be a priority and expanding the global outlook of these issues will assist in that support.

Some opportunities to speak out and tell our story are

Roadiecare.com – they are organizing events across the globe to raise awareness.
LiveEventsCoalition.org – they are lobbying for support for live event professionals.
Change.org – A federal petition for the industry.
ExtendPUA.org – A source to reach government folks to tell our stories and petition for support. #Wemakeevents – they are also raising awareness through events.

Here are also two other resources for general information and industry resources.
ILEA International Events Association – Resilience and Recovery information
Events Industry Council – Standards, practices and research to elevate the events industry.

In the meantime: Stay well, Stay Safe, Stay Motivated.

 

 

 

 

Be Resilient

 

Wow, have things been tough lately! Significant sections of our industry came to a screaming halt in a matter of days, if not hours. All of it out of our hands, as we wait for the day we are allowed to gather in large groups again. Sadly, at this point, we just have to sit back waiting to see what happens, though we all know it will come back one day. Our industry is about community between concerts, lectures, outdoor movies, festivals, and more. We bring communities together and when this virus has passed, communities will be stronger than ever. For now, we must wait out the storm, which is easier said than done for most of us since we all have concerns regarding paying bills, staying engaged and employed, being able to buy basic life needs, remaining mentally healthy, physically strong, and so much more.

Barring a global pandemic as individuals we encounter different issues and problems throughout our careers and life. How we choose to deal with this rollercoaster is extremely important. We must be resilient. We must be able to bounce back from the lowest of lows the industry has seen, but we must also be able to bounce back as individuals when faced with hard times.

When setbacks happen it’s ok to get upset. Be upset and work through the feelings you are having.  It is healthy to work through your emotions and know many of us are feeling the same. Believe it or not, we are working through the seven stages of grief which are shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance.  Now I am not going to go in-depth with the concept, but if you are struggling, look into this model and see if you can work through the process because it is important to process your emotions so you can move forward.

To move forward we need to work through our options. Some more favorable than others, but for each individual, it will be different. Options could be finding a new career path, finally opening your new business as you have desired for the last 10 years, and/or learn new skills and expand your horizons. Anything to move forward.  Get out of the rut that has occurred and pick yourself up because things will return to a new normal and we all will be a part of it in some way or another. This could look like a day of planning for your future, taking new classes, processing your long-term plans and taking steps to achieve them, reaching out to folks regarding new opportunities, and/or all of the above.

Most of us are between the phases of being upset and moving forward. We will likely stay this way until the government and society reset after this pandemic. Once we do it is very important to continue to process everything that is happening and to dive into the new.

Shut the door on the negative emotions and put everything into practice that you have done to be resilient and move forward.  Start putting your new plans into place. Open a storefront, teach the next generation about our industry, work that shows you’ve always wanted to, eat at your favorite restaurant, be within 6 feet of someone that’s not your family and so much more! (Ok maybe extended personal space is good) Take steps for yourself to gain back your momentum so you begin to reach your new goals. Before we know it, everything will feel right again. It is important to not get stuck in anger and grief.  We all have setbacks and although right now it is a global setback, there is still your individual impact and how you react. That is what will set you apart from everyone else. So be resilient, by processing the emotions you are experiencing, plan, learn, and change for what is to come, and dive in headfirst when this pandemic has passed.

 

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